What to do for people who have been hurt by the message

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You're out of the message... now what?

Where we came from

Did I think William Branham's message was the word of God to this age? Or at least the vindicated interpretation of the Bible to prepare the Church for the return of Jesus Christ?

Yes. And I was accepted into the community of message believers with open arms. I really thought they loved me.

Fast forward to my leaving the message. I was hurt and hurt badly by those in the message. While they said they loved me, it turned out as soon as I started asking questions about the message; questions that I should have asked years ago, I experienced unbelievable rejection... rejection that borders on hatred. Even the people that I still think might be Christians in the message... good people that were friends for decades... want nothing to do with me.

I appreciate that as humans, we are all broken. We are all trying and failing miserably at many things. We will all inevitably hurt others—myself included. I will admit to being a certified expert in doing the wrong things. In retrospect, I could have handled leaving the church better.

If you have left the church and want nothing to do with Christianity

We get it. The message in all of its various and myriad flavours and aberrations can be extremely toxic and pastors can be very abusive. But does that mean Christianity is wrong?

Here are a couple of places to start if you want to give Christianity, in its pure form, fair consideration:

If you are still following Christ

My frustration with people in the message is the fact that everyone still in the message seems okay with ignoring the people that left. I don't understand how message people can read these scripture and not even try to win me back:

What do you think? If someone owns a hundred sheep and one of them goes astray, will he not leave the ninety-nine on the mountains and go look for the one that went astray? 18:13 And if he finds it, I tell you the truth, he will rejoice more over it than over the ninety-nine that did not go astray. 18:14 In the same way, your Father in heaven is not willing that one of these little ones be lost.

My dear friends, if you know people who have wandered off from God’s truth, don’t write them off. Go after them. Get them back and you will have rescued precious lives from destruction and prevented an epidemic of wandering away from God.

So do message believers really believe the Bible? Or do they take the word of the pastors or William Branham above that of the plain teaching of scripture?

What are we, as a part of the body of Christ, doing differently than we did last year to improve our relationships? How are we loving our brothers and sisters better than we were last month?

The Church is made up of us all—each individual one of us. I’m confronted with the fact that, if I don’t try to change the hurt and hypocrisy, I’m setting a pretty low bar for the Church. Instead I desire for the Church to be people that the world can look at and see Christ.

So what should our course of action be those of us who still choose to follow Christ but have left the message?

Be vocal

Often when people are hurting, they simply keep it to themselves. At first it can appear that I’m being a good Christian by not making an issue out of something small. But it is much healthier to have a conversation about it. By avoiding the issue, unresolved feelings can turn into bitterness. Bitterness is like spiritual cancer. Find a support group. There are some good ones available. Just find some people who have left the message that you can talk to.

I’m most interested in open, honest connection with people. The more we pretend things are okay, the more things build up. That can only lead to disconnection and hurt.

Don't just ask about people, love people

When I was going through a dark spiritual valley, I kept getting told that so many people love me and that person after person was asking about me. The funny thing was that no one was actually telling me directly that they loved me nor were they coming to me and asking me how I was doing. That caused me to stop and reflect on how often I “ask about” people.

Asking a friend about another friend is quick and easy. It allows me to get a baseline on how that person is doing from a distance without commitment. It also gives a false sense of connection that the person in question never actually feels. When everything in life is good that might not be a big deal, but when your friend is hurting, an honest connection could be the encouragement they need.

Assume less

Most people know the adage that when you assume, you make something not so good out of you and me. When we assume what a person needs, it can make situations worse. I’m not talking about surprising someone with something nice, I’m talking about truly supporting or encouraging others. One of the most caring things said to me by a friend when I was hurting was, “Even though I don't know how to act or what to say when you're struggling, I do want to be there for you. Let me know if you think of ways I can do that better.”

Even though she was telling me she had no clue how to help, it was an honest, heartfelt expression of care. She didn’t try to fix my problem or assume that I needed anything. She offered her friendship and the space for me to express what I needed. That’s a model I want to follow. I want to stop assuming I know best and allow those around me the space to express their needs and to feel loved through it.

Loving one another sacrificially is hard. We can maintain our status quo and be okay with the fact that people are getting hurt, or we can challenge ourselves to act differently. It will take a lot of time and a lot of effort, but I believe in the Church and the broken people within it.

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