Message Urban Legends
There are a number of stories that are told by message ministers or that circulate from one message believer to another that are obviously myths or urban legends. It is important to note that none of these stories actually have specific names or dates tied to them. That is because they are all "urban legends"; or simply, they are not true but are fabrications.
Please send us an email if you have heard of a "message fairy tale" that we haven't heard and we will add it to our collection.
The Pope and the Message Book
The story goes something like this (fill in the blanks):
- Some years back, Pope __________ (insert name of pope) came to __________ (insert name of country). He held a Spoken Word book in his hand and said "This is our number one enemy".
The Head of the FBI and the Message Book
This is the American version of the pope story:
- Some years back, the head of the FBI held a Spoken Word book in his hand and said "This is our number one enemy". The reason that the government went after David Koresh in Waco, Texas was because he believed in William Branham. In fact, the FBI found many of message books in the Waco compound.
Immune to Sexually Transmitted Diseases?
Here is a story that appeared in a message forum on Facebook:
- Certain borthers went to donate Blood to a hospital. they were tested of HIV before donating and even other sexually transmitted diseases which the doctor wonder and asked the brothers "how come all of you have no diseases? They responded "we are christians". That tells us we are procted by this true message.
I'm not sure that they understand that STD's are only contracted when someone is sexually active. This story seems to say that they should have had STD's but didn't because of the message.
What happens when scissors get dull
It was reported during the '90's that some message believers were experiencing persecution from the Catholic church in Madagascar. Some catholic nuns tried to cut the hair of some girls in the message but the scissors didn't work. When they tried to cut the hair of a non-message believer they worked fine.
It took on a more sinister tone in another telling:
- During a conflict between rebel and government groups in Africa (no country specified), a group of message women were taken to a prison camp where the guards were shaving everyone's head for sanitary reasons (fleas, lice, etc). When they tried to cut the hair of the message believers, the scissors didn't work.
The real scoop on Fort Knox
According to Willard Collins (pastor at the Branham Tabernacle in Jeffersonville, IN), Fort Knox is an empty building, there is not a single brick of gold there. The government transfers empty cars to and from Ft. Knox so that the public will remain unaware that the Catholic Church took possession of the gold that used to be in Fort Knox. (this was told over the pulpit and related by Willard Collin's grandson).
Watch out for strangers coming into your church to take pictures
A stranger walked into a message church and started to take pictures of everybody who is sitting there. It turned out that the photographer was a Jesuit...
Don't yell at message believers
This was posted by a follower of William Branham
- I want to share a testimony just to warn those who speak against the prophet.
- A certain person parked his car in the middle of the road blocking the road from a believer's house. That believer had a visitor, who was also a believer and had a car. When she wanted to go, they found the road she was to pass through was blocked.
As it was a neighbor who had blocked the car in the middle of the road, they went to ask him to move it to the side of the road, so that the message visitor could pass.
The man and his son started shouting at the believers, instead of just moving out the road.
Two months later, they were all dead.
TOUCH NOT MY ANOINTED. That one was just a follower of the message so what about the prophet?
You are protected while listening to WMB sermons
There is a story from Africa about a witch doctor being hired to curse a message believer. Demons of death (or something equivalent) were summoned to attack the believer. But he was sleeping on the couch while playing a tape so the demons were repulsed and instead attacked the guy who hired the witch doctor.
Raised from the dead on the third day
Please notice that this story is told in the third person and that no name is given for the student. The real question is "Who concocted this story?" as it is obviously a fiction.
A precious brother who is a Ghanaian and a student at Bloemfontein University South Africa, went out with his Colleague to buy something out of the campus. On their way back to the campus a car parked behind them and there came out some policemen who insisted on searching their bags. They searched but could not find anything and they said that they must go to the police station for finger prints. The boys asked if they could drop by school to let the security know what was going on and the police agreed. When they reached at the campus the security agreed but the police now said we will go with one of the two brethrens! So they left behind one and went with one. They passed through one station and they said the police officers in that station where too busy! So they said to the brother we will go to the other station.
So they drove till they went to a remote place where they got out of the car at some bushy place, they then asked the brother his credit-card and pin number and told him that they were disguising as police officers. Their real business was to rob and kill people. So one of the man drove to town to verify whether the pin number was the right pin number and also to see whether there was money in the account.
He did that and came back having withdrawn part of the money that was in the brother's account. So when he came back he confirmed to his fellow robber that the brother had given them the right pin number and didn't lie. So the robbers said to the brother we now want to kill you peradventure you might recognise us and sell us to the police. So they started beating the brother up. Damaged his eyes, broke his bones and took a strangulation code and hanged him till he was dead. When they saw that he was dead they took his corpse and put it in a car boot. And drove away with him, possibly they wanted to dispose of his remains.
Whilst dead in the boot the ANGEL OF THE LORD CAME INTO THE BOOT AND TOUCHED HIS CHEST AND CALLED HIM BY NAME SAYING ARISE! And the brother rose from the dead, and The ANGEL untied the rope from his neck. When he arose he was trying to see and look at the FACE OF THE ANGEL BUT HE WOULD HIDE HIS FACE.
Then the ANGEL who was speaking to him calling him by name to his surprise said to him "BEFORE ALL OF THIS HAPPEND YOU WERE WATCHING WILLIAM BRANHAM'S VIDEO ENTITLED DEEP CALLETH UNTO DEEP." And the brother said "Yes." And the ANGEL said: "THE ENDTIME MESSAGE YOU BELIEVE WILL DEFEAT SATAN ANYWHERE, ANY PLACE UNDER WHATSOEVER CIRCUMSTANCE!" And also said to him "I am here again because when they were beating you up you were crying “JESUS” and calling JESUS ON THE SCENE!” and the ANGEL said to him, "YOU SHALL BE IN THIS BOOT FOR THREE DAYS." And He went away.
The car being driven by the robbers that time and they thought they have a dead corpse in the boot! The second day he Saw Angels that where Putting on Army Combat and had a LEADER with Them whose FACE WAS SO FEROCIOUS and where Flying around Round Guarding HIM. And the ANGEL said to him, "YOU SEE THAT FEROCIOUS LEADER THAT'S MICHAEL AND THEY CAN DECENT ON ANYONE WHO WOULD WANT TO CAUSE HARM ON YOU."
On the Third day, The ANGEL came back and He was told to LOOK and he said there was a BIG EAGLE HOVERING OVER HIM WITH HUGE SHARP CLAWS AND FLAMING RED EYES and that very day the ANGEL TOLD THAT HE WAS ABOUT TO GET OUT. The car stopped and he heard dogs barking, and the police had caught the thieves. How did they catch them? The thing is before he went out of their room at the University a STRONG VOICE told him to leave his phone. So he left it: now the robbers where withdrawing money the phone would record, so the police with the help from the friend, would see which bank they took out the money, place e.t.c and the surveillance cameras did what they are known best. And tracked them down until the third day when they caught them."
Similar stories are floating around
Another story claims that the muggers approached him on the church grounds late at night, and fired their gun in his chest. The gun wouldn't fire, and so they ran from the "hallowed ground" of the church.
Died the same day
This strange story was received in an email from someone that obviously does not have English as their mother tongue. However, that doesn't stop them from spreading another message fairy tale:
- One woman went to his meeting striped necked in front and he took his court and covered her and the woman threw it down and said, even if its my cow, if it believes your message, I will sloughter it and throw it away, what happened her, she died smoking that very day.
Translation into English:
- A woman went to a message meeting with a low cut blouse. A message believer took his coat and covered her but the woman threw it down and said, if my cow believed your message, I would slaughter it and throw away the meat.
- She died that very day (but we're not sure how she died other than there was some smoke involved).
Submarine lost under Los Angeles
A message minister (Jason Watkins) told the story of a nuclear submarine that was exploring a large cave system under California but lost its way and was unable to find its way out. Everyone on board perished.
The claim is that these caves are structurally unsound and a large earthquake would cause California to fall into the sea.
It is quite bizarre that a nuclear submarine would be exploring a cave system and not the specialized robotic submarines that are built for such purposes. The U. S Navy would allow a large nuclear submarine to explore an unknown cave system that could cause its loss? Not a chance.